YEARS LATER
Starlight caressed the rusted ship with light, pigmentation dancing. Eleven years had passed. Every window was capped and chained shut, to block out what lay behind in the past. The front was opened a few times a day, solely for directional purposes. The galaxy of their origins was long lost in the depths of their minds. Down the latter into an azure engine room, the hollow fuel tank exhaustedly churned away the final droplets of oil. Once a volcanic eruption of red and orange had been replaced by soft, rolling yellow waves that flowed out the cone nozzles of the spacecraft.
They had stopped on many different planets throughout their journey, though none of the species had looked similar enough for them to blend into. The three always knew they had many options for relocation, they just wanted to ensure that they could fit seamlessly. It was important to survive forward- as Paka had told them. Every species and group was quite different from the rest, though their organizational patterns were similar, and Trixie observed their roles. The way they all organized into groups was consistent with usually two partners and offspring. Sometimes more than two partners, but rarely. Sometimes the partners were of the same gender, and oftentimes the partners were male and female. All of these groups had children. In many cases, friends lived together quite merrily and supported each other throughout their lives.
Was the Grim Reaper, was he the Death of only her galaxy, or of everywhere? No one ever knew the answers on how that worked, being that survival was always at stake back then. Maybe it did not matter anymore. Perhaps the next time she would see him would be when she had lived her life. Maybe the new galaxy would have a different Grim Reaper.
Trixie sighed in front of her reflection. In her childhood the food had been locked up and rationed strictly, but she had no idea how much had been prepared for whoever made it aboard the Tanti ship. There was a lot, and the different planets offered a variety as well. Unfortunately, having grown up with food chained most of the day away from her, she found herself losing control to it now. It was as if the food could protect her from everything she had experienced, from all the rejection of her very life force.
The abundance of food the ship provided came with study materials as well. As the years passed, Trixie figured out what she had to do nutritionally, eventually- though she began to figure this out after the consequences of many binges. Application was an entirely different realm than the learning process itself. Trixie felt horrible at her weight gain. Of all the questions in her mind, she knew this compulsion was asking for an early death.
Her slightly older brother Crip seemed to have had excellent management of himself, regardless of the obstacles that had come his way. He had experienced some semblance of real love at one point from their parents, and Trixie wondered if this made all the difference between what she had become physically, and where Crip was.
The gaping loss of their home world was a cruel end to all of them despite it all. Paka and Crip had tried to be there for her, but dealing with the same fall out themselves caused them to stay politely distant. It was not their responsibility, as neither of them were even her parents, nor could they replace that role. Even as family they had always known life would cause them to part ways, eventually. Until then, they could be there in silent understanding for each other.
One signal from a specific planet kept popping up on their radar. The signal seemed similar to their language and signaling patterns, so they wondered if the inhabitants would look or speak similar to them as well.
Survivor’s guilt, and knowing who their parents intended to actually make it into this ship, kept Paka and Trixie unsteady. Paka and Trixie were never truly intended to be alive here. Crip was aware he had always been positioned for survival, at least by Dr. Jen, and that in turn made him behave more cautiously around Trixie and Paka. He had always loved all of them.. But he knew the original plan might not have allowed for those weaker than him. Still, Crip was glad anyone was alive after the demons had found their hideout.
A dimming light buzzed over the four sided mirror, being the second to last light bulb they had. The signal from the nearest planet had been loud enough that the three had resolved to take the risk. They could see it from the front window, a world of oceans and foliage that was even blue.
It was a planet in the Gliese system, called Planet Gliese. They had been watching it for a few days, and they began to wonder if this is the planet they would call home.
In the dark, glacial control room of a peeking dawn the front window was opened again, giving a long rectangular view of Outer Space. A crescent panel of intricate buttons and labels upheld the screen. Crip tilted the hourglass lever the slightest bit, trying to catch the satellite signal, but not too much in order to not damage the connection.
Language translators had allowed them to stay mostly stocked. Small, glass red vials called ‘speed capsules’ traveled by light speed and met at the ship’s signal. Inside each vial were hundreds of tiny chromosomes that made up the ingredients and data for the necessities they required to survive until docking another world. As for the ship’s electricity, it was fueled by planetary waves.
The ship creaked and tilted like the internal hollow of a boat and Trixie stiffened. Pale streaks of blue and black turned over the ceiling and around the room in a brilliant fan motion. The shadows of a star’s beams washed the metal roof as they passed.
She held her breath, tampering with the digital keys and lever, then turned to the startled face next to her. “Trixie, I think this planet might be our final stop,” Crip said. He knew Trixie did not feel ready, though she had worked hard to meet objectives. The impact of her trauma in damages to her own body was something she had wanted to get ahold of before actually starting their lives.
“Maybe we should circle it again,” Trixie replied.
“Trixie. If you want to go forward in your life we have to make decisions. We cannot grow without actually stepping out into reality”
“But I am weak right now!” Trixie cried, “I could never connect to people while still trying to figure out how to manage myself”
“You are only 21. You do not know what good could be ahead, because you have not experienced it yet. Yet, everything we experience, it has to be our choice first right? To even know it… There will be people who turn us away. There will be places where we will have heartbreak again, and again, and directions that lead nowhere only to laugh at us. But because we make the decision to experience life- there will also be more than that.”
“Easy for you to say” Trixie grumbled, “You’ve had perfect self management this whole time. I just need more time to get myself together..”
“Or you need to be around people who make you feel truly loved,” Crip interjected. “You need to simulate the love you were supposed to feel as a child from your friends, even if brief- even if fleeting, to recapture your own power. Then you apply your knowledge. Application gains power through teamwork, with people who get you, and you get them.”
“What if those teams fall apart?”
“Then you make new teams. You honor where others’ life paths turn from yours, you respect how they choose to create their experiences, and you take any lessons learned forward. You go back to that decision when you met the Grim Reaper.. That you would live no matter what. You make the choice to live Trixie. No one else can make that choice but you,” Crip encouraged. “One day, we will all be failing, whether by age or disease. No one will leave life in control. For every moment you are certain that YOU have control, you gain as much intelligence as you can- and you use it. You are the manager of the entire reality you walk through, until your body fails you. That’s all you have to focus on. Whatever you gain, use it to help others on your path ahead as well. That does not have to be forced though, just let that happen naturally. There will be times, and places.”
Paka was asleep in the other room, as the two siblings looked outward at the planet they were getting closer to. The life they would soon enter, and the uncomfortable certainty that this unknown path was going to be where their new lives would start. “I will try Crip.. You are right. I can make it.” Trixie replied.
“You will make it” Crip corrected.
Trixie straightened her posture and lifted her head, “..I will make it.”